It just clicked...

~~~~~  Warning, random post ahead ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Last night I was thinking about how to find my 'Happy' and I went back to when I was younger (and smaller) and I began to think back and really evaluate if I was happy back then.  And, not to my surprise I was happier.  Actually much happier and satisfied with life.  Not because I was smaller, but because I was comfortable in my own skin.  I used to do things then that would be a serious binge trigger for me.  Getting back to that Mitzi would truly make me HAPPY!  So, I decided to get back to her, by any means necessary.  I know it's going to take a long journey of consistent habits and actions to get me to goal.  This morning, a 5 A-the freak-M, I woke up and went to the gym.  I feel good, it's out of the way and no way on this freaking earth am I going to f-up my day by eating like a crazy fool.  Okay, on to the randomness.

1. My dirty little secret:

This is my water bottle, I drink out of this every single day, EVERY SINGLE DAY...

This is the top - OMG I'm going to die of mold poisoning (sending this bad boy the the dishwasher ASAP)

2. I wanted to take this little guy home, but decided that would be inhumane

Okay, no more randomness lol!

I everyone has a great Friday!!!!  I know I sure will since I don't have to worry about fitting workout time into my 'home chillin doing absolutely nothing' schedule.

Smooches!!!!!

Mid Day Rant - My Pet Monster, office edition

Okay, so today has been a very weird day.  I'm very scattered and a little unsure of myself today.  Tired of being in the office, so I have a short shopping list of personal items I need to get so I strike off to Wal-Mart (the most horrible place on earth!!!).  Then, because I'm hungry, or BIG hungry as my daughter calls me, I go to Chick-fil-A.  Usually, I get the chargrilled chicken sandwich.  But today, I was bold and I had an intense taste for some nuggets.  Soooo, I get the 4-piece kids meal with a fruit cup.  Just enough nuggets to get this craving at bay but not too much.  I walk my happy ass back up in the office and guess who is not to far behind...BIGGER hungry.  Someone I work with who shall remain nameless but we can call her My Pet Monster.  You know, the person who always wants what you're eating and insists that it comes from your plate!  That one...

MPM: Hey, where you been?
Me: Out to Wally world and back.
MPM: You didn't tell me you were going to get something to eat...
Me: Oh, last minute thing.  Sorry...
MPM: What you got?
Me: kids meal
MPM:  Let me taste a chicken nugget...
----Now if any of you know, Chick-fil-A chicken nuggets are small as hell!!!!  On top of that I only have four.  Now, MPM knows what the hell a nugget from there tastes like so why in the hell do you want to 'taste' one.  Just be real and ask for a nugget, shit don't beat around the bush.  Next, if I give you a nugget what am I supposed to do, HUH?  Eat three then proceed to lick the carton for residual nugget pieces and drippings?????  HELL NAWWWWWWWW!!!!
Me: I only have four...
MPM:  I just want to taste one (here we go again with that word)
Me: No, I'm hungry.  My nuggets are off limits boo, sorry :)
MPM: Oh okay, I see how you want to be.  Alright...
Me: silence, and happily eating my chicken nuggets.

Okay, that is all....

Finding my HAPPY...

Hey everyone!!!!!  I'm super duper tired for some reason today.  I'm not sure if I'll make it today, but I thought I'd start my day with a topic that was on my mind for a while now.  I'm wondering why I can't get my footing in this whole process and why do I always revert back to the comfort of food.  Actually that's one of my goals to accomplish this year; end my unhealthy relationship with food.  Then I got to thinking, is it food that really makes me happy?  I mean, for the moment YES, but in the long run NO because I look at myself in disgust (enter Fatty McFatterton).  So where is my happy?  I go down the list of friends, family, loved ones...I really look for those outlets for my happiness.  Side note: I really believe that's why I'm having slight issues in my relationship because I think Brian should work harder to make me happy, but that's neither here nor there.  Then I had an epiphany...remember that Will Smith movie, I am Legend?

Just him and his dog (the dog eventually died) so he was in a world where he thought he was the only civilized individual left after a huge epidemic.  If I were in this hypothetical situation, how and what would I find my 'Happy' in? 

I love I mean LOVE to bake, but that's a double edge sword.  Yes, it relaxes the hell out of me, I'm usually very pleased about the outcome (yes, I can throw it down), but I can guarantee you that it is NOT going to be good for me.  I can't help but taste my creation and sometimes go a little over board.  So I think for now, at least until I can muster up some damn self-control, baking is a NO NO. 

As or right now, I'm on a quest to find my 'Happy' - right now, I am legend and it's now or never because food can no longer be my 'Happy'.

Signed,

Getting my 'Happy' back...

Friend Making Mondays (FMM)

Friend making Mondays, courtesy of All the Weigh - Please check her blog out, it's awesome :)  Okay, the question for today is....

What's the first thing you would do for yourself if you won 100 million dollars? Note: this question is specifically for you...what would you do for fun after the family and the bills and the obvious stuff was taken care of?

I would first pay off all of my bills, I mean ALL of those bad boys, lol.  Buy new clothes, new shoes, new bags, new makeup, everything new.  Then most likely buy the home I'm so longing for. 

If you want to answer the question, make sure you link your response to her post (it's at the bottom of the page)

HAPPY MONDAY!!!!

A quick post from the car

Everyone have a great Monday; I wish I could do a longer post but I’m currently being made Accounting’s bitch right now (tear).

Life happens, now what????

I think the hardest think for me is to deal with uncertainty and changes.  I like have a systematic way of life where I know what I'm going up against and I know how to deal with it.  But, you know that never ever happens, so when life hands me the curve ball, fast ball, ect what do I do?  Still trying to find comfort in changes and letting things play out before I spazz out!!  Like with tracking points and calories; if I don't know the EXACT amount of points to track for something, I'm angry and confused as to if I'm totally on point or not.  I would like to know that I'm not over estimating my activity or underestimating it.  But, one day at a time. 

In March I will start training for my new position and I will be on a schedule, gasp!!!!  I've NEVER had a set schedule at work so this is going to be hard!!!  I have to spring into action NOW to plan my workouts, my days, study time, Ladybug time, ect.  To make the situation worse, Mr. is going away for basic training for two months and immediately following he will be going away for another two months for officer training (insert sad face).  I will be dealing with this hectic schedule and load by my lonesome.  Now more than ever I need to develop that life skill called TIME MANAGEMENT.  To me it's almost like a bad word, but I need to embrace it and make it my BITCH!!!! 

I also wanted to share our bathroom calendar with you all.  I've developed the kindergarten reward approach to working out for the Mr. and I.  Everyday we work out, we get a sticker.  Days we don't work out, we get a sad face.  Let's just say, I have more stickers than him so far this month, lol.

Although last week was quite pitiful!



Day dreaming and I'm thinking of you....

Hi everyone, I'm sitting here at work...daydreaming...AS USUAL, lol.  What am I day dreaming about might you ask...here, I'll tell you.  Better yet, let me show you.

A dreamy trip to Punta Canta Dominican Republic with the HUN..

Wearing this beautiful swimsuit with a nice tan!!!!

(side note, I know I will NEVER EVER be this skinny, but I don't think I would ever want to be this little.  Nope, no desire at all.  Just a smaller version of me will be just fine!)

Okay, I'm done with wishful thinking for right now, just need to break up my day with some happy thoughts. 

Back to work Toot!!!!