Like a Business…

Hey you guys, Happy New Year’s Eve!!!!  I’m so excited about 2012.  Very excited!  I’m hoping to do some new and exciting things in the upcoming year – the quest to find my happiness. 

Goal 1 – To Work On My Passion…BAKING!

I love to bake!  I love to add up all the ingredients and create something tasty and hopefully also beautiful (one day). I would go so far to say that I’m very good at it; it’s not just rewarding, but so relaxing for me.  I drown out everything when I bake; no noise, no drama, no nothing.  Just me, the ingredients, and my new and soon to arrive Kitchen Aid mixer in boysenberry.  Yes, big investment I know but it’s worth every penny.  I hope that I can learn to decorate my cakes as well, but that will come with time.  2012 is strictly about working on my recipes and finding the perfect arsenal to be a great baker.

Goal 2 – Work on the woman in the mirror!

I need to work on my star player – physically and emotionally.  In the all too unfortunate fashion , I have become a slave to my relationship.  I love being with Brian; he’s fun and although he can be annoying sometimes (but what man isn’t) I love being around him and hanging with him.  I’ve put my health, my goals, and some of my happiness on the back burner and I hate myself for that.  It’s my fault because I control the things that go on in my life. No one else.  As much as I want to blame him, it’s on me. If someone asked me what I love about myself, I would have to think on that one because I’m not sure who ‘ME’ is and I want to change that! F that!!  I’m GOING to change that! Starting with finding my groove in the gym and taking care of my health and body (only have one chance to live this life). 

That brings me to the concept of…Treating my life like a business…

I’m not very good at making long term goals and sticking to them, so I’m dividing my life up in quarters and tackling them in 3 month increments. I will focus on each quarter as a continuous progression.  It seems like a long time, but when I think about 2011 it just flew by.  So, hopefully I can stay ahead of this and finally tackle my goals once and for all.

First Quarter Goals and Bench Marks

I’m naming this quarter – finding my niche…

January I will focus on three things:

1) Finding a happy medium in the gym and committing myself to that space.  I love group fitness classes, personal training is o.k. but I would like to work out for more than an hour with her and ya girl don’t have the fund for that.  Monday nights @ 7:15 I will go to Body Pump, and Thursdays I will go to spin.  That’s all I’m able to focus on right now. 

2) Baking, my happy place.  I will work on 2 recipes this month.  Red velvet cake and my kahlua, chocolate cake. Trying to find some taste testers shouldn't be hard.  I have tons of hungry folk at work who would be willing to be my test dummies.

3) Learning how to take care of myself without feeling that I’m neglecting anyone else.  I always have a hard time shopping for myself without buying for my daughter.  When I want space, I feel like it’s telling the people I love that I don’t want to be with them or spend time with them. With my lady bug, I don’t want her to feel like I would rather be alone and not with her and when it comes to Brian, I don’t want to feel like this gives him the ‘I’m single for the night’ sign.

Oh what a long 30 days this will be, but hopefully I can meet my targeted projections and come out in the green :)

My Motto for 2012 – Carpe the HELL of this Diem!!!!!

HAPPY 2012!!!!

Christmas Eve, Eve

Hello all!!!

It's the eve of Christmas Eve and I am happy to say, I'm done almost done shopping!  Just a few more gifts to get and I'll be done.  Hopefully everyone is having a great holiday so far.  I will return to blogging regularly after Christmas, so look for some interesting posts.

  

Here I go..

Review and weekend recap tonight

Hi people!!! I have a busy day tonight but the blog show must go on! I wanted to stop by and say hi!
Also, I'll be doing a review on the new energy bar I purchased today. I'll be using it today before my workout.

He finally did it

Happy Hump Day Peeps!!!

I just wanted to do a quick post (vlogging tonight) about my sweetie and his new endeavour...BLOGGING!  I've been asking him to do a blog for a while now, so he finally set it up.  Please check him out, follow him, and leave him a nice comment here and there.  Hopefully, once he gets situated in the blog world, he can tie it in to his new venture...POD CASTING!!! 

Yep, my baby is doing some good things - who knows where this may lead.

Brian Sabb

Manic Monday's!

Happy Monday everyone!!  As usual, this is my long day...boooooo. So I will be doing my usual lunch/dinner combo.  Get a 12 inch sub - 6 inches for lunch and 6 for dinner before class.  Anywho, on to the good stuff.

Weigh-in stats:
Beginning weight - 211.2
Current weight - 209.6
Loss/Gain - (1.6)

My eats for today:

Breakfast: Coffee with cream, clementines x 2, and some stale azz Puffins
Lunch: Blimpie Turkey on Honey Oat
Dinner: Blimpie Turkey on Honey Oat
Snack: Chobani, Land O Lakes Cheese, Popcorn maybe

I did accomplish 15 mins of Turbo Fire HIIT this morning.  I was sweating and breathing heavy like a sow!!  Let me tell you, I am an out of shape bitch!!!

Weigh-in 10/31/11 and tracker update

Weight: 211 lbs
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Daily Points available: 32
Daily points Used: 32
Gained: 0
Weekly points avail: 49
Weekly points used: 0

Okay lovelies, I will do a proper post tonight.
Oh and this will be a daily thing!

Send her your love...

Its been a while since I've blogged. Been sooo busy...school work life all that stuff. Sometimes life can get so hectic theres no stopping the train. But I just wanted to vent today...

Lately I've been feeling like I'm in a relationship rut. I sometimes have to beg for his affection and it's like we are two ships passing in the night. I wish we had a moment to just be together but I wonder if he wants that right now. We went to a wedding this weekend and we barely even danced together; I was the approach-er all two times lol.

I was listening to Stevie Wonder's song Send One Your Love and it really hit home that you need to show people you love them while they're here and not to be afraid to show that. I know people live differently but how do you get used to not feeling it at all? I'm stumped...

Have a good night everyone :)

Big Shirley and other things

Good morning everyone!  HAPPY FRIDAY EVE!!!!  I'm actually glad it's almost Friday, this week has been too much for me.  First week of classes, my workouts did not exist, I'm trying to focus more on foods that feed my body and not my desires...yadda, yadda, yadda...

Anywho...I did something this morning...I introduced Brian to my inner and outer fat girl...Shirley.  Shirley is the beast who can eat everything in sight without thinking.  Well this morning we were in bed, I was on my phone looking at the Groupon's for today and low and behold it was for cupcakes.  My hopeful little skinny chick, Anya (I'll introduce her to you guys later) had a little quick dialogue
Anya: nope, we don't need cupcakes!  Feed your body, not your desires girl!
Me: True, let's get of this mess right now!
Anya: Yes, I concur.
Me: puts my phone down besides me, while still laying down I remind you.
Shirley: Bitch, I'm gonna get these damn cupcakes!!!  Hell, I'm not starving for no body! Proceeds to use my elbow to purchase said Groupon.
Me: Oh wait let me get my phone...
Brian: You just bought a Groupon?
Me: No I didn't, I couldn't have...
Brian: Oh yes you did!!!  $10 for something (he proceeds to read the shame that is now on my phone and in my Groupon account) $10 for $20 worth of cupcakes!!! 
Me: I didn't want that Groupon (proceeds to tell him about Shirley)
Brian: Big Shirley wanted those cupcakes!!!  (he added Big, not me!  I would never call her out like that).
Me: Stop, I'm offended - I didn't tell you about Shirley to exploit me and hurt my feelings.
Anya: Oh no, how did that fat bitch buy some damn cupcakes!
Shirley: Skinny Bitch, you will never appreciate those cupcakes as much as I do!!!!
Me: You two stop it!! We have to work together you guys!
Brian: Damn, Big Shirley wasn't playing!!!

{End Scene}

Now, do you see the type of morning I had y'all?!?!?!  I'm exhausted and now the proud owner of $20 worth of cupcakes for $10

And I'm out this MF!

Monday Mantra

My mantra for this morning is...You can do this, don't give up because victory is so sweet...

Today and tomorrow...possibly Wednesday, I will be doing a liquid fast Ro Style Check her out, she's a beast when it comes to the liquid fast!  I'm doing this because I just got back from the Chuck (Charleston, SC) and ate a little more than necessary.  So today and tomorrow I will be clearing my head and preparing my body for a great food week.

I started this morning off with a banana smoothie - frozen banana, milk and a little packet of sweetener.  It was so good, even on a cool day!

Here's what I have lined up for me today, in addition to a lot of H2O!

Naked juice Green Machine and Protein Boost, some chai tea (currently drinking with milk), Lipton cup a soup (last damn cream of chicken on the shelf).  I may throw another smoothie or protein shake up in the mix.

Happy Monday everyone!

Hump Day Happenings...

Hey blog world!!!  I've been a little M.I.A, working some things out in my little big head!  I had a rock bottom moment this week, but with the help of my SIWL (Sistah's In Weight Loss), I over came (kind of like that Eyes on The Prize Movie we used to watch all the time in elementary school during Black History Month).  Anyway, I digress...

Through their encouraging words, advise, and support I'm back on the wagon and holding on for dear life.  I just want to take a minute to thank....

Changing My Weighs
Brown English Muffin
Miesharoshawn
Ro

These are some inspirational ladies, please check their blogs out ASAP!!!

They told me to keep trying, this shit ain't easy for nobody, set small goals, stop your bitch-ass wining and do the damn thang already, etc, etc...And you know what, that was exactly what I needed to hear at a time when I was all out of steam.

So, to set a small goal for myself is a great thing - I try to attack the whole beast instead of attacking it in pieces. 

Goal #1 - Make it to Onederland!!!!!
Beginning weight: 211.0 lbs
Goal Weight: 199 lbs (199.99 if need be, shit I'm being real right now)
Deadline: Before October turns into November!

Here's my lunch for today, and yes I did eat the bread but it was calling me O_O

Zaxby's Grilled Chicken Salad with no Fried Onions and Light Vinaigrette

Day 20- Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future

Then there's you....

This is a recycled picture...but you get the deal.

Brian was my first non-highschool/puppy love.  We have shared so much - both good and bad, but we are still alive and kicking.

Brian,
If you are reading this blog post, just know it was always you.  You make me laugh, smile, think, cry, fight, all dat - LOL!  I wouldn't have it any other way (you know that).
Love,
Mitzi

Day 19- Nicknames you have; why do you have them

I have lots of nicknames…
Ladybug – my mother used to call me that, now I’ve passed it down to my daughter
Miss Piggy – Again, my mother and grandmother’s doing.  Sometimes Brian calls me that when he’s being affectionate
Mitzi-bo – Brian used to call me this in high school
Mit-nuke – my cousins call me this, have no idea where they got this name, lol!

Day 18- Plans/dreams/goals you have

I spend my whole day dreaming and trying to figure out which one’s I can turn into a reality; here are just a few.

I want to own a home someday – GAWWWWW I want this so badly!!!
I want to have a son :*) this would make me so happy, but a healthy baby would be just fine…boy or girl, I would love them up!
I would like to have a cake decorating business – this is just a fantasy dream since I don’t have an entrepreneurial bone in my body and I really only know how to bake and not decorate 0_o
I want to lose this damn weight – post to follow this afternoon!

Day 17- Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why

Wow, I really like being me.  Although, my life if filled with variable ups and downs, I really wouldn’t have it any other way.  But to indulge the challenge for just a few minutes I would love to be… OPRAH!!!!!  That’s a baaaaddddd woman!

Day 16- Another picture of yourself

Day 15- Put your iPod on shuffle: First 10 songs that play

1)     Lift Off – Kanye West and Jay Z

2)     Usher – OMG

3)     Sing Like Me – Chris Brown

4)     Outro – Lil Wayne

5)     Blunt Blowin – Lil Wayne

6)     Betterman – Musiq Souldchild

7)     Something That I Like – Ryan Leslie

8)     Submerge – Maxwell

9)     Monstar – Usher

10) So Beautiful – Musiq Soulchild

Day 13- A letter to someone who has hurt you recently

I actually have two letters this time

Dear Mom,

I love you and we've been through our fair share of ups and downs, we have had our disagreements on certain aspects of my life as well.  I want you to know that you did do a great job of raising me and I am grateful that I was fortunate enough to have you as my mother.  I take the things you've taught me along with me everyday.  Although I have made some variations to fit my views and ideas as an adult, I will never forget.

I want to have that close relationship with you again.  I want to be able to spend time with you all, as my family.  I don't want us to argue anymore, but most of all I want to grow into being your adult daughter and you recognizing that fact.  I know it's hard because I'll always be your baby, but I think we can do a good job at making that hard transition.

Mommy, you are my best friend, my protector, my love.  I wouldn't have it any other way, and if given the opportunity to chose another mother, I would still chose you!

Remember how much I love you,
Mitzi 'Miss. Piggy'

Dear Brian,

We have come a long way, we've been through a great deal since 2001.  I could never imagine that we would be at this point in life together again.  When I first met you back in college, I had no idea that I would fall in love with you.  You showed me how to love and receive love from a man.  Even though we've argued and fought we always seem to get through those things and focus on the most important thing...Love.

From the moment I knew I was in love with you, I made the vow that you would be the person I would grow old with, change with, experience the different facets of life with, etc.  Although we are going through the uncertainties of this relationship right now, I want to continue to focus on that goal: you, me, old and gray on a boat somewhere in the tropics!

But most of all I want you to want this as much as I do.  You are my best friend, my lover, my confidant, and most of all you are the person I choose.

Love,
Mitzi

Day 12- How you found out about Blogger and why you made one

I found Blogger by browsing various blogs online.  I said to myself "Self" and myself said "yes"...how about we start a blog to keep us accountable for this journey that we're on?  and myself agreed!  So that's how this blog came to be.  Initially, my boyfriend Brian read it and he commented on my posts (which I miss soooo much, he has no idea).  Don't get me wrong, I LOVE LOVE getting comments from other bloggers, but it's something special about getting one that makes your insides fluttery.  I know, I've been told I'm quite lame, lol!

Day 11- Another picture of you and your friends

This is usually us all day, in the hotel trying to figure out what to do! LOL!

Day 10- Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad

When I’m happy, I listen to Corinne Bailey Rae, Put your records on.

When I’m sad, I listen to PM Dawn, Die Without You

When I’m hyped I listed to Nelly, Move Your Body.

And when I’m mad I listed to Kelis, I Hate You So Much Right Now!!!

 

There you have it!

Day 09- Something you’re proud of in the past few days

I’m proud that I was able to throw my mom a great birthday party.  She and everyone had a ball, it was great to say happy birthday to my mommy!

Day 08- Short term goals for this month and why

Some of my short term goals for this month would include…

1) To find some motivation and hold onto that bitch!!

2) To start excising on a more consistent basis.

3) To rest and do all the things I won’t be able to do come august.

4) Finish reading Room

5) Bake a killer/sinful cake!

Day 07- A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you

This little KuKu Nut is my daughter; she’s crazy, sweet, creative, and lovable.  She inspires me everyday – to go further and do more. 
I love you Ladybug!!!

Day 06- Favorite super hero and why

I chose Rogue…why…because this sistah is always thick!!!!!

That is all, lol!

Day 05- A picture of somewhere you’ve been to

I know this is not enough to show you all said place, but I really like this picture.  My girlfriends and I went to Savannah, GA last year and I loved it!  I really enjoyed the old-world colonial feel, art, etc!

Fat B**** Jar Update

Hey everyone!!!  I hope you all had a fab Labor Day Weekend.  Yours truly cleaned house on the holiday because I was sick of the clutter and mess.

You thought I stopped doing the FBJ didn't you???  No, we are still going and may continue to weigh in until the end of the year.  So far the jar contains $55, slackers!

Anywho, here are my dissappointing stats:

Date	Weight	Change
6/22	210.0	-
6/29	209.2	-1
7/13	213.8	+4.6 (dammit)
7/20	213.4	-.4
8/3	212.8	-.6
8/17	211.0	-1.8
8/24	208.4	-2.6 (whoo-hoo)
8/31	214.0	+5.6 (what the hell??)

So, there you have it!

Day 04- A habit that you wish you didn't have

Day 04- A habit that you wish you didn't have

My worst habit is starting projects or challenges and stopping them without completing them.  I really need to work on this and make an honest effort to finish what I start (shout out to http://www.yumyucky.com/)

What's a habit you wish you could leave on the shelf?

Day 03-A picture of you and your friends

From Left to Right: Mitzi (me) Hypnotize, Allison (Ideal), Sheen (Rooflis) and baby Saniece, Dana (Spontaneous) and Keta (Shot Gun).

Day 02- The meaning behind your Blogger name

Day 02- The meaning behind your Blogger name

My blogger name is Wonderfully-Complex because It's always been hard to figure myself out.  Wait, is this me talking about myself in the third person?  How weird, but anywho...this came about because I've always been a complex individual, but not always in a good way.  So in order to celebrate every facet of ME, I decided to think of those complexities as wonderful.  Hence the name...WONDERFULLY-COMPLEX :)

Day 1

Day 01- A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself

1. I'm still afraid of crickets...thought I got over the fishing trip of 1996
2. I hate buying clothes, but I'll buy shoes and accessories all day long
3. I love to have foot rubs, although I rarely get them
4. There is no way that I would ever buy a phone other than an iPhone
5. I love to bake and research recipes, I don't that often enough
6. My left foot is slightly larger than my right, that to me is unfair
7. I'm afraid of heights
8. The only diet that has worked for me is South Beach; and I haven't done it in forever
9. I need lots of sleep to feel okay the next day
10. I've never been to the west coast, I so want to go very soon
11. I used to absolutely hate my name, it's growing on me though
12. I'm like a lab rat - all over the freakin' place, lol
13. I'm a true gemini - and proud of it
14. I love my little blog, although I neglect it sometimes
15. I can't wait to read everyone's answers and keep up with the 30 day blog challenge!

30 Day Blogging Challenge

Come on...don't you wanna join?
30 days of blogging challenge!
Day 01- A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself.
Day 02- The meaning behind your Blogger name
Day 03-A picture of you and your friends
Day 04- A habit that you wish you didn't have
Day 05- A picture of somewhere you’ve been to
Day 06- Favorite super hero and why
Day 07- A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you
Day 08- Short term goals for this month and why
Day 09- Something you’re proud of in the past few days
Day 10- Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad
Day 11- Another picture of you and your friends
Day 12- How you found out about Blogger and why you made one
Day 13- A letter to someone who has hurt you recently
Day 14- A picture of you and your family
Day 15- Put your iPod on shuffle: First 10 songs that play
Day 16- Another picture of yourself
Day 17- Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why
Day 18- Plans/dreams/goals you have
Day 19- Nicknames you have; why do you have them
Day 20- Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future
Day 21- A picture of something that makes you happy
Day 22- What makes you different from everyone else
Day 23- Something you crave for a lot
Day 24- A letter to your parents
Day 25- What I would find in your bag
Day 26- What you think about your friends
Day 27- Why are you doing this 30 day challenge
Day 28- A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then?
Day 29- In this past month, what have you learned
Day 30- Who are you?

How can I say this...

Seven years ago today she left me...the person who knew me the best...the person who could say anything to me and I would listen...the person who made me feel okay about my mistakes...the person who could brighten my day with a foot rub...the person who took care of me when I was a baby...scolded me when I was a child...loved me during my rebel years...protected me from my mom when she was going to spank dat behind...the person who I shared many memories, loving conversations, and great advise. 

Dear Sylvia,

You were more than a Grandmommy to me, you were my best friend.  You were my company and my understanding.  There were times when I'd shut down and retreat from the world because I felt left out, you were my sanctuary.  You taught me the value of being open and kind, you taught me that love is more than a word...it's the warm feeling you send to others who are around you.  You encouraged me to be who I am even though others encouraged me other wise.  You let me know that in a perfect world, people and things will always be imperfect and that's the way it should always be.  You taught me to strive to be the best me I could be.  You rubbed me when I was sick, you laughed at me when I was silly, and you share your stories with me when I needed an example of when to be thankful.  You passed down a legacy of love and faithfulness that I could never imagine learning from anyone so giving. 

Grandmommy, it's been so long since I've talked to you - I ache because I long to hear your voice.  I wonder if death's purpose is to make us realize that we have hold inside of us more than what's tangible...we have memories that sustain us in the absence of our loved ones.  I know that you have taught me this; being me is exactly what I should strive for in life. I can't deny how much I miss you and how much I want you here with me.  Just to have you for a while would be fine, or just to know that you still watch over us will be all that I need.

So, on this day seven years ago I said good bye to you; my friend, my love, my protection, my little piece of joy.  I will always love you grandmommy and I will make sure that Mia knows all there is to know about her great-grandmommy who loved her so.  And I will carry you with me always - inside the heart that you nutured and showered with your undying love. 

Love always,
Mit

Whenever you're ready

The boo-thang has been talking (for some time now) about starting a blog.  I love the blog world, I've met (well not actually in person) so many great people and it's fun to read about someone's alternate points of views.  I think if Brian had a blog, it would be really interesting to see what he comes up with.  So everyone, let's encourage Brian to get started on his blog!!!!

We're ready when you are babe!!!

You...

Dear Ladybug:

You're such a big girl now!  Wow, second grade??  I can't believe how fast you're growing up, right before my eyes.  I just want to tell you how special you are; I never imagined how much the universe could bless me with such a wonderful little person.  When you were born, all I could say was 'Wow, is she really mine?'  Your intelligence and beauty is unmeasured, in my book; and seeing you go into school on the first day with such confidence and determination brought tears to my eyes.  On your first day of second grade, you walked quickly in front of me unable to contain your excitement for the upcoming school year.  You told me that if you get letter grades this year to only expect one: ALL A's!!!  You told me you were sad about missing your drop in on the previous day, but it was okay because all teachers are nice!  You told me you hope some of your friends are in the class with you so you would have someone to talk to.  I quickly said, school is not for talking, it's for learning little girl!  You just looked at me and said, "MOOOOOOOMMMMMYYYYYYY!!!!". 

You have shown only the tip of your ice burg, and I can guarantee there are big things in your future.  You can really be anything you want to be Ladybug, and if you work hard enough and strive for excellence everyday - nothing is insurmountable.  A little piece of advise for you - difficult does not mean impossible, never let anyone tell you that you can't accomplish what you set out to do, even if those words come from people you love.  Also, never lose sight of the most important individual on this planet, even the universe...YOU!!!  Keep her happy, healthy, striving, and unstoppable!!!

You are so loved, that you have no idea....

 

Weekend re-cap

Thursday night we decided to venture out to The Oyster Bar for some good eats!! Let me just say...it was sooo good. Reasonably priced and fresh oysters. What more could a girl want?!?!






They didn't survive long enough for a picture.






They shuck them in front of you!






Brian eating chowder






My shrimp and grits...not how I usually take them but pretty good






These were amazing. Oysters with Alfredo sauce, cheese, and bacon ... Orgasmic






Happy tummy!!!
Moving on to Saturday, we got drunk...nuff said...












And then Sunday...I got this...






Yup!!!!
Happy Monday!!!!!!!

The straw that will break the camels back...

This is part Deaux of yesterdays blog post about when to seek help.  That was a big step for me, since I was always aprehensive about seeking outside help for our relationship issues, but they have become too much for me to work out on my own.  Not to go into the details about the problems we're having, but they have a great deal to do with trust issues.  We are in need of some serious help because I don't want to lose my love for a second time; but in the same regards, if the relationship proves that it can no longer be healthy we have to let go.  This morning, we had a lengthy discussion about the situation, and I admit it's like beating a dead horse, no resolve on my end because I'm still very skeptical of his intentions.

There are also times when I stay home and pass on hanging out with girlfriends because I want to spend time with him so we can have that closeness that I want in our relationship.  This is not healthy for either one of us.  Brian recently moved to where I was so we can be together.  He is out of his element and trying to make the best out of our current location; which I do admit is boring most times.  I cannot expect him to sit around the house for days and not want to get out and do things.  Most of his friends and family are in other areas.  This is my first time living with anyone, cohabitation is hard, but I have a hard time balancing 'us' time, 'me' time, and 'girl' time.

My resolve out of this whole situation would be to have a long-lasting and healthy relationship where we can grow together and evolve together but still maintain our identities.  I need to trust him and allow him to spread his wings without fear of him breaking that trust.  I cannot hold onto him so tightly and remain happy with him.  I believe a strong committment can come only if we learn to manage the relationship a little better.

I hope that working with a counselor will give both of us tools we can use to make it for the long haul.  I want to be able to go on trips with my girlfrieds, go to dinner with them, hang out with my man, go hang with my family, come home and spend family time with my daughter, and be a the career woman I want to be.  Why can't I have it all?  Insecurities...maybe; lack of trust...maybe?  But I do know this, I love Mitzi and I will always have her.  Now I have to learn how to foster healthy relationships with everyone in my life so that Mitzi can be a better person.

When to ask for help...

Hey everybody!
This has been a long few weeks for me and miss. I can't get right hurt her back on Sunday.  So I've been out of commission for a little less than a week now.  But this post isn't about my back or weight loss; it's actually a personal post about when to seek intervention. 
As you all know, I'm in a relationship with the love of my life and we have had our share of ups and downs, and after 11 years we still have the strength to keep going on this trip called 'love' together.

In 2009, we decided that we could actually be friends and stop bickering, for a change.  In 2010, we then decided that we would try this love thing again.  I was happy because after all, he was my soul mate.  I mean, we could joke together, laugh, play, be serious, have thought-provoking conversations...the list goes on and on!  I was ecstatic that we were back in each other's lives.  But as time went on, there were series of events that made us both question the decision to get back together.  We tried to put things in the past, let go, release tension and anger; but to no avail, it was a harder task than anticipated.  There always seemed to be a dark cloud following us and no matter how happy we wanted to be, it just seemed like we kept getting knocked back down. 

I must admit, I'm not innocent in this at all and neither is he.  Our communication is at a very low point, and that's something I NEVER wanted to experience.  I'd always hoped and imagine that good or bad we could at least communicate effectively to work through our problems.  After having the same discussions, over and over, I've decided to seek an intervention from an outside source....
Couples Counseling...

I know that Brian is not opposed to going, I'm just afraid that we will get there and he won't open up and take the counseling seriously in order for us to get moving in the right direction.  I really love this man, and the good times greatly out weigh the bad times, but in order to have more good times without this cloud, I think counseling would be best.

Friday baby!!!

Tomorrow, I'll be picking my babe up from the airport! Can't wait to have him home!
Today's post is bought to you by country fruit salad...



It's real in the field, times are hard for everyone. And as much as I would like a yummy pre-made fruit salad from Publix, I just can't afford to shell out $6 for it #brokelife. So I gathered some fruits from the house, packed them up and yielded my trusty butter knife to construct a fruit salad at my desk. Yep, I'm country - I carry butter knives where ever I go (never know when you need it).
So I saved money on the fruit salad so I can enjoy a relaxing pedi this afternoon! Got to make sure the feet are on point for tomorrow!!!
Happy Friday peeps - I'll holla!!!!!

Planning ahead week 7/31 thru 8/7

My workout schedule for this week
Sunday 7/31 - Body Pump
Monday 8/1 - RPM
Tuesday 8/2 - Personal Training Session
Wednesday 8/3 - RPM
Thursday 8/4- Personal Training Session
Friday 8/5 - REST
Saturday 8/6 - Walk 45 minutes

Calorie burning goal - 1,400 cals

Will update on Sunday with food journal

Have a happy Friday!!!!

The makings of you....

I love music!  All kinds of music!  My favorite song would be Curtis Mayfeild - The Makings of You.  It's so sweet to me; and just like the person he's singing about, it's hard to describe me.  I'm starting to make an effort to put me on a pedestal and take care of me.  One step to making this happen is acknowleding exactly who I am.  When this process is over, I don't want to be someone I'm not.  That would be too hard to maintain, I just want to be me!

I'm easy-going and flowy like linen sheets in a cool breeze...
I'm quirky and a little silly at times...
I'm a scattered-brained type of person, reeling me in is sometimes impossible...
If I had the body and money to have any style in the world, I would probably choose something simple and sophisticated - easy and elegant.  Lots of natural colors, with a few bright pops here and there.  Beautiful and simple accessories.  Something that I could put together in minutes :)
I'm sweet and loving; I will give you my last if need be.
If I were a flower, I'd be a peony - soft, complex, and beautiful.
I love the simple things in life and a good laugh can make my day...

....The love of all mankind, should reflect some sign...of the words I've tried to recite...they are close, but not quite...Almost impossible to do...reciting, the makings of you....

Those are some makings of me - I'd love to here some makings of you...

Is that what they really think?

Well...it's that time again...Fat B**** Jar time!!!  Well, last week I was at a major gain and this week I had a very minor loss (T.O.M fast approaching).
Beginning Weight: 213.8
Current Weight: 213.4
Loss/Gain: -.4 lbs

Okay, I know that's a sad little number - but hey, I didn't have to pay the Fat B Jar $20!!!!  Winning!!!

Anyway, I cooked bourbon chicken Monday night and will be posting a recipe review vlog tonight for you all.

My soldier is gone again...I'm sad, but it's only for two weeks this time so I feel a little better.  Here he is!

I took him to the airport Friday morning, I was sad and feeling a little homey (yes, I am that way all of the time).  So when I dropped him off, we said our goodbye's and I went on about my day.  So he calls me while he's waiting and tells me...get this...the baggage attendant asked him if I was his mother???!!!!  WTH, do I look that runned down?

Now, I have to admit Brian does not look 30 *don't tell him that* but my damn???  Do I really look that bad to other people.  I always thought I was okay, mousy, but okay non-the-less.  I guess what people perceive really makes a difference in how you see yourself. 

I never want to look like I'm not worth taking care of myself, because in all actuality, I am worth every amount of effort required to take care of ME.  As a mother, it's so easy to put everything in our children and leave ourselves aside for 'next time'.  But most of the time, next time really never comes. 

So today, this day, I am declaring it:


I'M WORTH IT!!!! ARE YOU??????

Baby let me be your motivation

I really love that song, so sexy and…um…motivating, lol!  It brings me to my topic for this evening: Motivation!!!   What’s your motivation for doing what you do?  Extrinsic motivation is easy, I want to lose weight to look  a certain way or fit in this or that.  But the intrinsic motivation is what I have issues with.  It’s what keeps me going, that self-motivation that is supposed to keep me going. 

If I’m going to have a body similar to this:

 

I’m going to have to get on the motivation.  And yes, Sanaa has my dream body and yes, I hate her for it. 

I’m note going to post pictures of certain outfits I would like to fit into, or a bikini that I would love to see myself in.  Instead, I’m going to post a picture of 1 of 2 motivational tools that I plan to use to help me get on track.

I bought a new planner, just for my workouts, food intake, and weight/measurement log.  I just started writing in it and hopefully Sunday night I can start planning, grocery shopping, and filing my week with good intentions, positive actions, and amazing results.  and before I know it, October 12th will be here and I can I worked my hardest and I can see some great changes on the horizon!!!

Soooooo…What’s your motivation?????

My dinner tonight when I really wanted Chinese food...remember Mitzi, you're eating for the body you want...

12 weeks and 6 days!

Hey y'all!!!  Got my workout in this AM - kicked my ass since I was fresh off of vacation (stay tuned for vacation post tonight).  Torrey worked my legs and a little bit of abs.  The leg workout was not too major, but since I had been lazy for a little over a week, it was for me!
- split squats (12/10)
- Alternate leg pressess (12/10 each leg)
- Deep squat with plate, a little shoulder work in there too (12/10)
- Deep leg presses (12/10)
- Side lunges on the stairs (12/10 each leg)
- Incline plank (60 secs)
- Reverse crunch on bench (20/20)
- Cardio: 20 mins on treadmill

Eating plan today: mostly liquids to detox a bit since I'm cooking my meals for the rest of the week tonight I don't want to eat out today. 
pre-workout: half whole wheat begal with peanut butter (I think I'll try it plain next time, the pb was a little to much for that early in the morn)
I had coffee so far, lots of water, some Bolthouse Green Juice, Soup at Hand-Creamy Chicken)

Tomorrw is....FAT BITCH JAR weigh-in!!!!

Have a lovely day everyone and stay cool - it's gonna be hot as a bitch outside today!!

And she says….

“I challenge you to get lean!!!”  Yep, that’s what my trainer approached me with, via text message at that!!!  She is concerned with my body fat percentage, yep folks, it’s pretty high.  It’s so high, that I’m in danger of doing some serious damage to my organs.  Sad, but it’s true!  And you know what I happily accepted her challenge!  So, here it’s my plan.

Timeline: 12 weeks (ending: October 10th)

Mini goal 1: deadline – August 11th lose 15 lbs

Mini goal 2: deadline – September 11th lose 10 lbs

Final goal 3: deadline – October 10th, lose 10 lbs and decrease my body fat by 5% (minimum)

Training schedule:

Day 1: Weight training with 20 mins cardio

Day 2: 30-45 mins cardio

Day 3: Rest

Day 4: Weight Training with 20 mins cardio

Day 5: 30-45 mins cardio

Day 6: Rest

Day 7: Weight Training in 20 mins cardio

Nutrition: no less than 1200 calories, never go below that minimum.  My caloric intake will be based on my workout intensity.

Meal 1: egg whites with oatmeal

Meal 2: Natural PB, 1 slice whole wheat toast, strawberries

Meal 3: Chicken breast, sweet potato, and broccoli

Meal 4: Chicken breast, brown rice and spinach

Meal 5: Lean fish and veggies

Pre-workout snack: 1/2 whole wheat begal

Post-workout snack: protein shake with milk

How I plan to track my progress:  I plan on weighing in every Wednesday Fat Bitch Jar still in full effect (BTW, I will be owing this week).  I also plan to take my measurements once a month and measure my body fat once a month.

My trainer is a really big fan of the body building site, www.bodybuilding.com I’ve been on there before and I like the information as well. 

So, if you want to join me…let’s get lean together!!!!!

Hello from Allendale….

Hi all, just a quickie!  On our way to Florida, lots of fun to be had.  Sorry I’ve been M.I.A for the past few days; this blog is always on my mind.  I hope everyone had a happy fourth. 

I’ll leave you with a little someone special saying ‘Hello’ from Dale-city…

 

This bad boy was eyeing me down!!!!  So pretty though, gotta love the country!!

Happy burfday America!!!

What up blog-buddies!!! Happy Fourth of July!!!! I've been in Allendale, SC celebrating the fourth with Brian and his family this weekend, no signal at all for me there so I'm doing a quick post while we are in a near-by town.
I hope everyone has a safe and happy holiday!!! Stay cool while grilling out, it's gonna be HOT!!!!!

FBJ weigh-in results...

Drum roll please ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Beginning weight: 210.2
Current weight: 209.2
Loss/Gain: -1 lb
YAYYYYYY!!!!  I don't owe the FBJ any money!!!  Take that B*****!!!!  Hell, to be honest I didn't have $20 to put in that thing.  But, I didn't let Gangstaboo know - she would finally realize I'm dealing with a terrible disease called The Brokeness!!!  I was talking about that with Brian yesterday how when we put THE in front of a health condition, it makes it sound much worse: THE sugar, THE gout, THE AIDS....funny how we do, lol!

I had my personal training/kick my teeth out from the inside session this AM - it was great, like I said before I have high hopes for Torrey.  She's a little high strung in the morning, but I can deal!

Have a lovely day everyone!!! 

FBJ Eve…

Good evening everyone!!!!  Tonight was great – Zumba baby!!!!  I stayed for 45 mins (hour class), had to get home to get dinner and get ready for the day.  I had fun though; first time going to Zumba in months.  Bad news though, Brian is going back to training for two more weeks in a week…sooo, that means I’ll be back in hectic mode for a little while longer.  Just when I started to relax, oh well – out of our control.  Anywhooooo….. recap of my week so far.

FBJ (fat bitch jar) week 1:

• I trained with Torrey for the first time, she is a beast…and you know what…I LOVE HER!!!! She’s about movement and not doing static workouts.  Lots of Plyo’s and interval training.  I have high hopes for this one!!!
• I’m falling fell in love with Kashi Go Lean Honey Almond Flax cereal.  Where have you been all my life?????  It’s crunchy, sweet and full of fiber!  That fiber gets my ass in trouble around 3:00 everyday.  Can somebody pull the freaking fire alarm so I can have some privacy please?!?!?!?!?
• My food intake wasn’t perfect, but it was better than most days!  I’m a salad for lunch girl this week, how long can I go on like this????
• I’m a little nervous about tomorrow, because I do not, I repeat DO NOT have $20 for the FBJ!!!  ----->Turn a trick maybe????

I will post my weigh in tomorrow afternoon – wish me luck!!!!

Party Over…

Hey Hey Hey!!!!  My vacay is over…boo…next week I’m going back on vacation…yayyyyy!!!!  Brian and his family have invited to go on their Florida vacation with them.  How cool is that??  It’s always great to be accepted by your significant other’s family and friends.  In my case, my parents really don’t accept Brian or our situation (living together, not married, may not have any intentions on getting married – but that’s a whole other blog post) but hopefully they will come around.

We went to Atlanta – ATL Shawty!!!!  For a concert and a little get-away since Brian had been in OK for 2 months and AL for 2 weeks.  Of course, my bad blogger habits, I didn’t take many pictures.  I wish I had a snazzy Nikon to hang around my neck for easy picture access, but here are a few.  Brian going H.A.M on some pastry from Cafe Intermezzo.

Me being Sassy ( I had to crop the toilet out of the picture, lol!)

I promise, I will take more pictures when we go to Florida.  I promise!!!!!!

Tomorrow: Fat Bitch Jar Eve…

On the road

Hey y'all!!! On my way to Atlanta to see R Kelly and Ms. Marsha!!! The boo and I are on the road. Here are some of the eats.



Pretty good for oatmeal on the go.



I know, I know... Don't judge me lol



Entertainment until my battery dies and I take my turn driving.

Smooches all, I'll hit you up with some pics when I get back.

Wednesday Weigh In…& Other Ish…

Happy Hump Day Y’all!!!! Before I get into my house work, I wanted to blog and get some things off my chest. First of all let’s get the weight thing handled.

Beginning Weight:

210.2 lbs

 

 

 

That’s not so horrible, at least not as bad as I thought.  I have a long way to go, but I just want to be in it for the long haul this time.  Today, I’ve been on soft foods/liquids.  I had a Slim Fast for breakfast and snack and some soup in a cup for lunch.  I’m still having some issues with my tooth, and from my appointment today they are more down the road.

Anywho, last week my trainer told me he gave his two weeks notice for the gym that I go to and we were supposed to meet today.  But he friggin stood me up!!!!  No text, no call, I texted him, no text back…WTF?!!?!?!?!  Who does that????  I can see you wanting to peace out if you’re ready to go, but don’t schedule clients and you have no plans to be there!  I was upset with him, but you know I’m not going to stay angry…for long. But my new trainer Terry, I can already see she’s gonna be a damn beast.  Oh well, put dem big girl panties on and take my ass when she hands it to me!!!

The Fat Bitch Jar

The Fat B**** Jar is just how it sounds…for Fat B’s, lol.  Anywho, I did this a long time ago because money motivates me like none other.  My friends and I did a 6 week challenge to lose some weight.  We would weigh-in every week and if we maintained or gained, we would have to put $10 in the B**** jar.  At the time, that was too steep for me so I made sure I lost something!!!  So now I’m doing it again.  Here’s the plan.
My friend Gangstaboo and I are starting this six week journey together.  We will weigh in on Wednesdays (so expect a Wednesday Weigh-in Post every week) and we will give $20 to the Fat B**** jar if we don’t lose or maintain. 
I bought some new workout clothes to help motivate me a little.
Usually I work out in a holey well ventilated T-Shirt and some barely held together seasoned pants.  So I went to Target and played with my debit card to buy some new digs!!!  I’m really excited about getting in the gym with these bad boys!  Sexy sexy!!!!
Also – BRIAN IS COMING HOME!!!!!  So next week I’m all about the gym rat status!!!!!
OMG!!!  I’m about to explode!!!!  Not really, but you get my drift!!!!

It’s been a long time…

Hey you guys!!!  How have I missed this!!!  I’m sitting on my couch listening to season 5 of Girlfriends (please bring the show back) blogging my little heart away.  I’ve got a lot to say sooooo….listen up!!!

How do you guys like my new blog design?????  I LOVE IT!!!!  Jen with http://justfoolinblogdesigns.blogspot.com/ designed my new blog and she is great!  The experience was amazing.  She gave me everything I wanted for my blog.  I LOVE peacock feathers; they’re complex and beautiful and I just love the way they look.  Jen hooked me UP!!!!  I love the way it’s beautiful, kind of quirky…sooooo me.  So if you need to spruce up your blog or in need of a change, please check her out!!  You will not be disappointed!!

Next up….MY QUARTER IS OVER!!!!!  I’m so free right now, I don’t know what to do with myself.  I’m torn between cleaning like a MF and sleeping.  I’m not sure, what would you go with?  I have a week off and then I will be taking one easy class for the summer.  That means I will be doing a lot of work on these goals of mine.  I’ve chipped at a few already so I need to do a goal update post.

Moving on…I plan to blog a whole lot more!!!  Diva is not going to neglect wonderfully-complex, so stay tuned for more pictures, more vlogs, and more updates!!!  I really want to start accomplishing some of the goals that I haven’t been able to stick too, and I want to document every step of the way!

Now onto something a little more serious…Lately I have been having some irregular-type heart beats and those bad boys are scary.  I know they are related to my bad eating habits and my sedentary lifestyle.  I’m afraid, but I have to do something about it.  So, if you stay tuned I’ll tell you about the fat B@%&* Jar!!!

I'll be back...

Finals week...be back soon!!!


Wonderfully Complex

Please Help Me…

Hey bloggie buddies!!!  I need your help!!!  I want to try to find a new blog design, but the research is killing me softly.  So many designers, so many options.  Do you have any recommendations that are not so costly?  Sistah is on a budget, ya heard??!!?? 

Thanks in advance!!!!!

Migraines

I have migraines or some sort of headache at least once a week. Now for me this is not a good thing because I'm usually so busy with a lot on my plate. I'm not sure what causes them but when I lost 40 lbs waaaaayyyyy back when I didn't have them so much. Now don't get me wrong, they didn't disappear but they weren't as frequent. Nowadays, I have them more often than not. So I sat down, while in the middle of one, and came up with a headache/migraine graph to try to get to the root cause. Here's what I came up with.

Stress->running around->being tired->pressed for time->eating horribly->pressed for more time->not getting my shit done->stressed because it's not done->tired so I don't cook->eating horribly because I'm stressed,tired,pressed for time cause I'm back-tracking,still not getting my shit done.

There you have it, my headache maze. Something must be done because I can't live like this. Awww shit, my temple is pounding. Bout to OD on some Goody powder :(

Wonderfully Complex

Working on some research...

Today was filled with WORK, ugh can't stand it! But it's necessary for life and living. I did do some research today about living a lifestyle that's conducive to a better quality of life. It's true what they say about how we live, eat, and exist and how it relates to our quality of life. So let me roll down my list:

1) I eat like I'm a trash can - I will put anything (almost anything) mostly junk and processes junk.
2) my life as it is right now is a hurricane - I've been hit by it and somehow can't recover. I don't know what having an organized life is like, sad but true.
3) I don't have a regular sleep schedule or bedtime routine.
4) I live a mostly sedentary life - not enough movement for my poor body.
5) I'm a creature of routine and habit - I need some events and memories to live my life to the fullest.
6) I don't have a back up life plan - I'm always crunched for time, money, and other things. I need a life plan and a back up plan.

So, my blog is taking a turn for the better. I will still update my weight loss/get healthy movement. But, I want a better life overall; I'll include you guys on my milestones, set backs and accomplishments.

Stay tuned, Toot is up to something ;)


Toot!

Happy Birthday to MEEEEEE!!!!!

Yeah, I toot my own horn!!  In order of my special day, I have decided to change the title of my blog to Wonderfully Complex!!!  It’s something that I use to describe myself most days and………

29 is about to be a GREAT year!!!!!

After I ate my birthday cupcake, got birthday pedicures with my baby and made a Big Lots run, I was thinking.  A year from now, what do I want to have accomplish?  What did I accomplish while I was 28?  Which leads me to my BIGGGG Announcement….

Drum roll please~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I’m changing the focus of my blog!!!!!!

Okay, was that jus a big bust?  No, not really.  I really love and I mean love being apart of the blog world and I have so many goals and life plans that I would like to document, so Wonderfully Complex is going to be…

Wonderfully Complex!!!!

 

Blog award

I'm adorable!!!  At least to Dee and Miesha - Thank you ladies, I love your blogs and of course you two are soooo fab!!!  And hopefully my sweetie thinks I'm adorable, but he hasn't seen this hot piece of Latina ass in a minute, so I guess it's up in the air, lol!  Anywhooooo - let's get with the rules of this thang!

The rules of the award:




* Thank the person who gave you this award, and link back to them in your post.
* Tell us 10 things about yourself.
* Nominate your bloggers.
* Contact these bloggers, and let them know they received this award.

10 things about myself

1. I have Fred Flinstone feet and I love heels!!!  Not a good combination :(
2. I'm allergic to bees, and I eat honey on a regular basis.  I can deal with a swollen throat and head for that goodness.
3. I'm obsessed with baking and coming up with recipes.
4. If I could die and come back as anything, I would choose a red velvet cupcake, yum!
5. I would give anything...and I mean ANYTHING to sleep with Prince (don't judge me)
6. My daughter is my biggest inspiration!
7. I have a SERIOUS problem with organization, HELP me ya'll!!!
8. I love the smell of new tires, I go H.A.M in Sam's when I go get my oil changed.
9. I have Pica and I eat ice all day long
10.  I am a PE survivor; I wear my badge proudly!!!!!

Okay, I'm passing the award off too....
Paula - she's has a great blog, very inspirational
Amy - amazing blog, I love reading about her journey
Alexia - she is truly adorable and her blog is a hoot

Have a great day, I'll do another post tonight with some foot porn pics!!!!

It's Monday honey!!!

Happy Monday e're body!! I know right a little to chipper. Today and the rest of the week I'll be booking it moving at 200 mph! Paper due, still spring cleaning, life, etc etc... I wanted do a quick post with my food for today.

Breakfast
Grits, bacon, cheese with promise butter (see no real butter today, I'm trying)

Snacks
Cantaloupe
Protein shake (pre workout)

Lunch
Chili (it was good y'all)
Small salad (still haven't eaten that yet)

Dinner
What else booskies?!?! More chili
My salad from today

Here's a pic of my chili it's a beauty!



Toot!