Sunday, November 28, 2010

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Is it over yet????

Sad to say it’s not.  Words cannot explain how overwhelmed I am.  I’m flooded with emotions and things to do.  First of all, the holidays are upon us and it seems as though it were the holidays only a few month ago.  Wow, how does time fly?!?!?  Also, I have an announcement to make…In December, I will be forming a single unit household with Mr. Sabb!!!!!  Yes, I’m talking cohabitation ya’ll!!!!  I’m nervous because I don’t want to mess up our relationship and I’ve never lived with anyone, so I don’t know what to expect.  All I can do is be myself and hope that we can grow together for a wonderful future.  Also, I’m at a standstill with my goals, I’m so good a defining them but not so good at following through.  I don’t why I’m expecting to get different results from my same actions.  Who knows what my deal is, but I do distracted easily and I’m not very good at perseverance.  

I had to tell him about my financial state and take my guard down and let him in.  I knew that he had an idea how irresponsible I was with money, but I’m not sure if he knew how extensive it was.  This is always uncomfortable, letting someone in to the deepest darkest parts of your life.  But, I figured if we would be sharing a home and a life together, why not share my secrets with him as well.  I genuinely want to complete something, anything.  Maybe if I had a small victory to keep me strong and give me what I need to continue, I may do better.  It’s hard to continue without seeing any light, I’m just not good at that.  Having faith in my ability has always been a weakness of mine.  How do you have faith in what you’re doing if you can’t see it or any results for that matter?