Happy birthday to me!!!

Hey y'all. See you real soon!!! It's my birthday please stand by while I celebrate!!!




Smooches!!!

This time…

This is an intimate post for me because I’m about to share a journal entry with you all…journals are usually private but today I feel like I should share this one.  It’s long, so please bare with me…

Sitting here at the lake the eve before my 30th birthday and my heart and mind are so full. Full with ideas, concerns, fears, and realities. So many things have taken place in my 20s, I would have to write this whole entire book. Some good, some great, some bad, some worse. One thing I learned from my 20s, and still learning to grasp today, is that I can't stop things from happening, I can only change how I let it affect me. I've been hurt (in my opinion beyond measure) I’ve been let down, I’ve been put off, I've been uplifted, I've been given a second chance, I've been through a lot. But not once I stop moving, keep going until you can’t go anymore. Go you're dead-work at me until I quit breathing-take care Mitzi until her heart stops beating. Loving me was a challenge and it still is most days. I love everyone else but Mitzi. I don't know when it came to be like this; maybe it's my body image issues, maybe it's because I never learned to love myself, who knows. Somehow I let the most important person in my life go and how do I convince her to come back-how do I show her that this time I want it all. To love her and to show her how much she means to me. So often I left her devastated-no wonder she's lost. Learning to love all over again is a risk to take, but I will take it for her.

So looking back, my mistakes became my blessing in my goals that I've put on hold have followed me to this place. So much on my mind and so many things undone, I panic now because there's a possibility that I won't make it home alive and there's a possibility I won’t see my birthday tomorrow. All things are possible in this world, so could it be possible that I could look back at my 30s and smile because those were the best years of my life? Possibly... Could I look back at my 30s and say that I’ve earned the love of my life back and I love her fiercely? Possibly... This road I leave behind, but ahead lies the mystery-such is life. I hate mysteries I hate chance-I hate playing the odds so possibly is all I have right now. Sometimes I feel like if I put all of my desires out into the universe there is the better chance they may come back to me-that was “in my 20s Mitzi”. I could never let things evolve without my immediate help or input-that was also “in my 20s Mitzi”. So much wasted energy, how did “in my 20s Mitzi” make it through the last decade?'

 

There is one thing I won't do this decade and the ones hopefully the follow-I will not waste my energy and time on trying to control the uncontrollable or trying to figure people out. No more will I worry about who loves and accepts me-wasted energy. It seems like I’m taking the whole FUCK YOU approach, but I feel I spent too much of my time wasting my energy on the wrong shit. If there is an alternate world where I'm turning 20 tomorrow instead of 30, I would tell me to just breathe and that is easier to carry on when you don't have so much baggage to carry. Smile and love, but love yourself first. Accepted your decisions and stand by them, don't back down for anyone. And most of all... Enjoy your 20s because they go by fast.

So that's it in a nutshell my last day in my 20s.

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30 things to do while I’m 30 – official list

In my previous post, I stated that I was going to do a sort of bucket list project.  Since I’m turning 30 in May, I think if I start planning and giving myself a map of how I’m going to work toward these things will give me a great advantage.
So without further ado, here’s my list!!!

1. Confront my fear of heights by doing the Sky Walk in Stone Mountain GA
2. Do a semi nude/boudoir photo shoot and hang the pictures in my new bedroom
3. Become a home owner
4. Buy myself something fromTiffany’s (real Tiffany’s, not swap meet Tiffany’s)
5. Visit a winery
6. Swim naked in the ocean
7. Ride a rollercoaster
8. Spend an entire weekend pampering and bonding with my daughter
9. Stay up all night and watch the sun come up on the beach
10. Finish my degree
11. Take a cross fit class and finish without dying :)
12. Take a pole dancing class
13. Make a career change
14. Take a cooking class
15. Decorate my first cake
16. Visit farmers markets in Atlanta and Charlotte
17. Get a dog
18. Go fishing
19. Learn to play golf
20. Hold a snake
21. Take a picture in front of a famous person’s house
22. Play in the rain
23. Paint a piece of artwork for my new home (see goal #3)
24. Purchase all new bras and panties for VS (can’t fit them now)
25. Make a sex tape (don’t judge me)
26. Ride a horse
27. Crash the wedding and reception of a total stranger
28. Be a vegan for a whole week
29. Have a makeover
30. Move to a new city (fingers crossed on that one)

There are only four major life-changing things on my list; the rest are just little things I’ve never done and would LOVE to do.  Some are a little racy, some just for fun, some are things I’m afraid of, and some are things that would improve me.  As you can see I didn’t add lose weight, workout, or get healthy.  That’s because it’s something I have to do to stay alive, so in order for me to enjoy emptying my “30’s bucket list” I have to be around and healthy to do so.  I hope you enjoy reading about my adventures.  Between now and then I will continue to blog about the everyday stuff, but the special bucket list posts will be really fun!  I plan on having a photo journal of everything I do so I can share them with you.  Well, maybe not the sex tape, but you know what I mean.  You will just have to take my word for that one!!!
Smooches

Changing my Focus

Hey lovely blog readers!  I’ve missed blogging, life has been super busy for me! Nothing like being on go all the time with no break…no..break..at..all..LOL!

I’ve been looking back and reflecting on things, I’ve read my ENTIRE blog – breaking down goals and trying to make an assessment of why I fail OFTEN. I have the ideas and the hope, but I usually fall short.  As many of you may know (or may not know) I will be turning 30 in May and I’m starting to feel the pressures of life and honestly I feel like I’m starting to crack. 

So, I’ve come up with the idea to kind of change the direction of my blog and try something different for me.  A year long challenge to myself to see if I can have that stick-to-it attitude and accomplish….my….

  

30 things to do while I’m 30 bucket list!!!! 

I know, I know – this is not the all coveted bucket list (things to do before I kick the bucket) because I have lots of things I would like to do before I kick the bucket!

Stay tuned for the list!!!!

Smooches!!!!

Hey!

Stay tuned :)

Well hello there…

Warning…this post is VERY picture heavy.

I apologize in advance :)

So, let’s start off with our trip to Myrtle Beach with my college friends.  We had an awesome time!  All of us have children, so it was a nice getaway from the day to day.

 

Our view…nice and relaxing

What Brian did all day, try to find a golf course

I think he found one, smh

Walking on the beach

It was breezy but nice

Being silly

Hi seagull – sadly, we use to kill these when we were younger

Moving on to my recent shopping addiction – I am shopping it up for some reason.  Maybe filling a void in my life, LOL!  Just kidding!!

All these for $30 at the Nike outlet

Two shirts from the Gap Outlet

A dress, also from the Gap Outlet

Grey and pink…nice

Some new hair products, Argan oil - nice

Product junckie

New nail polish on sale

This was delicious

 

Found this at World Market

Okay, so the home girls and I went to Atlanta to surprise one of my best friends Sheena for her dirty 30!!!!  We had a great time!!!

The birthday girl is in the stripped shirt!!!

 

Sheena is a cake decorator and she hates cake, so we got a cookie cake! YUM!!!

us girls

Keta packed a lunch bag, lol!

Our beats, we were jamming on the one, lmao!!!

Being silly!

This is what she does, make us drive her car and fall asleep on the back seat – SMH!

Me and my brother – he lives in ATL and came out to buy us drinks!

Allison sleeping HARD at the restaurant, lol!

That’s all for now! Just wanted to catch you up on my happenings!

Smooches!!!