Monday, August 29, 2011

How can I say this...

Seven years ago today she left me...the person who knew me the best...the person who could say anything to me and I would listen...the person who made me feel okay about my mistakes...the person who could brighten my day with a foot rub...the person who took care of me when I was a baby...scolded me when I was a child...loved me during my rebel years...protected me from my mom when she was going to spank dat behind...the person who I shared many memories, loving conversations, and great advise. 

Dear Sylvia,

You were more than a Grandmommy to me, you were my best friend.  You were my company and my understanding.  There were times when I'd shut down and retreat from the world because I felt left out, you were my sanctuary.  You taught me the value of being open and kind, you taught me that love is more than a's the warm feeling you send to others who are around you.  You encouraged me to be who I am even though others encouraged me other wise.  You let me know that in a perfect world, people and things will always be imperfect and that's the way it should always be.  You taught me to strive to be the best me I could be.  You rubbed me when I was sick, you laughed at me when I was silly, and you share your stories with me when I needed an example of when to be thankful.  You passed down a legacy of love and faithfulness that I could never imagine learning from anyone so giving. 

Grandmommy, it's been so long since I've talked to you - I ache because I long to hear your voice.  I wonder if death's purpose is to make us realize that we have hold inside of us more than what's tangible...we have memories that sustain us in the absence of our loved ones.  I know that you have taught me this; being me is exactly what I should strive for in life. I can't deny how much I miss you and how much I want you here with me.  Just to have you for a while would be fine, or just to know that you still watch over us will be all that I need.

So, on this day seven years ago I said good bye to you; my friend, my love, my protection, my little piece of joy.  I will always love you grandmommy and I will make sure that Mia knows all there is to know about her great-grandmommy who loved her so.  And I will carry you with me always - inside the heart that you nutured and showered with your undying love. 

Love always,


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