Tuesday, August 28, 2012
Time to say farwell...
I've thought about this for a long time; I love wonderfully-complex, it's my baby and my outlet. But I'm at a stage in my life I'm going through a lot and I need some clarity and to focus on growing me. Wonderfully-complex was too thick with goals I just don't have the energy to focus on right now. I need my energy to be focused on making Mitzi a better woman. I'm a new 30-year-old, and too old to be going through these issues. These issues need to be nipped in the bud, so I'm saying goodbye to Wonderfully-complex for a while and starting a journal type blog where I only have one goal - to make Mitzi a whole woman. Since my old blog was a Hodge-podge of so many things, I need a fresh start. So, please update your blog readers by deleting wonderfully-complex and adding my new blog page...
Black Butterfly Chronicles
It's not up and running yet, my girlfriend is supposed to come by and take some really cool pics of me to add to my blog design. So goodbye wonderfully-complex and Toot - no nicknames, no alter egos, just me...Mitzi.
It's been fun :)
Friday, August 24, 2012
TGIF!!!!
Thursday, August 23, 2012
Never have I ever...
- I have never colored my hair. I'll be doing this really soon.
- I have never gone on a picnic in the park. When asked by guys I've dated, this is always at the top of my list; but I guess it was never excited enough to them. I'll just have to take myself.
- I have never watched a sunrise. I want to this so bad, I may get this done tomorrow. I wish I had a beautiful back drop though.
- I have never walked willing in the rain. I would love to just feel the freedom of being carefree.
- I have never kissed a guy I'm with in front of my parents.
- I have never been skinny dipping (had to add a fun one in there!!)
The thing we most take for granted is time. We feel it's ours until we become old and that we have time to do all the things we want to do. If I had all the time in the world I would so much but I know we are all in borrowed time. He ended our conversation by saying I would have hugged a bit longer and laughed a lot harder, never forget that. He has inspired me to squeeze every moment of happiness out of life, he has inspired me to just dance and laugh and smile and enjoy everything that comes my way. How unfortunate are those who know they are limited and have to deal with the inevitability of death everyday that they wake up. My heart hurts for him because he is at the prime of his life, only 47, and he has to say so many goodbyes so soon. What are some never have I Evers on your list?
Smooches
Friday, August 17, 2012
The HARD facts of life
Yes, this is Tootie from The Facts of Life, lol! In so many ways I'm just like her; sweet, somewhat naive, and a hopeless optimist. I must admit, being in this state feels so good because you're often blind to the obvious and have no idea that there are things around that could hurt you. I guess I've kind of stayed like this because I give so much of myself to the people I love and I'm often devastated when I'm let down. Slowly, I'm moving into more of a mindset to where I'm looking out for me and my daughter only - just because I can't handle any more let downs.
I've always been optimistic that I will be some one's true love and that they will want to be with me for who I am. I know we all are victims of this pipe dream - it's a dream we are sold even before we're able to date and fall in love (happily ever after stories and what-not). But, slowly I'm starting to realize that the 'forever love' type scenario is only destined for certain people. Sadly, I'm not one of them. I've been a good friend, a good girlfriend, a great buddy, but not someone worth fighting for or keeping around. I've been that person more times than I can count and frankly, I'm tired of putting myself in that predicament.
Reflecting and knowing all of this has lead me to call it quits on thinking that true love is for me. After a hard cry last night and lots of thinking, I'm never going to allow myself to be with or give my heart to anyone else. I'm tired of never being good enough for the fight. My daughter loves me dearly and without any reservations, and until I stop breathing...that's all I need.
Okay, I'm done venting....
Smooches
Monday, August 13, 2012
Leiber award
My girl Ebbs awarded me with a Liebster blog award!! Yay!!!! This has taken me so long to get done because I'm doing it in between my work (yeah, I gets down like that). The Liebster award is given to bloggers with less than 200 followers. This is a great way to show some love and increase your followers at the same time. Thank you Ebbs for thinking of me!!!
Rules for the award:
1. Each person must post 11 things about themselves
2. Then answer the questions the tagger sent for them, plus create 11 questions for the people they've tagged to answer.
3. Choose 11 people and link them in your post.
4. Notify the people you have tagged.
5. No tag backs.
11 facts about me:
1. I am so afraid of heights it's not even funny.
2. I really have the attention span of a lima bean, but I try to pay attention anyway.
3. I hate it when people refuse to take care of their feet, but decide to put them on me anyway...ewwww.
4. Groups of large birds make me nervous.
5. I used to hate shopping for clothes, now I can't stop (somebody help me please)
6. I've always wanted a big dog, but go with the smalls ones anyway. This year for my ladybug and me...go BIG or go home!!!
7. My arms are Always too short to use the ATM comfortably...no matter what type of car I'm in
8. I have a BIG fear of failure :(
9. I wish I could stay home and bake/decorate cakes all day...and eat them without consequences.
10. I just started a new job and I'm ready to make my next moves my best moves
11. I sound like a kid over the phone (unless I just woke up - then I sound like my name is Mike...)
Questions from Ebbs!!!
1. What are you currently listening to on your iPod or MP3 Player (So I can get some ideas)? Marvin Gaye (and LOTS of it), Drake-Take Care, Emalie Sande (Love, love, love her), PM Dawn (oldie but goodie), Young Jeezy (motivation music), Frank Ocean (new to me)
My Questions to you!
1. What is a major goal that you have been able to cross off your list this year?
2. If you could throw caution to the wind and hop on a plane to go anywhere (all expenses paid) where would you go?
3. What is your favorite color for this spring/summer?
4. If you had $1 million to give to any charity, what would it be and why? (and YOU can't be your Charity of choice, lol)
5. What's your ALL time weakness - I mean the urge so strong you can't even resist?
6. What your greatest accomplishment thus far?
7. Your workout playlist, please share...
8. What's your favorite workout (strength, cardio, circuit, or a specific dvd)?
9. If you could change your career right now, would you and what would you be?
10. What's your healthy go-to snack?
11. What's one thing you've learned from blogging?
Tag time!!
all the weigh
Ro Gets Fit
30 things to do while 30
Black girl gets fit
Mi Inspire
Happy Monday Everyone!!!!
Thursday, August 9, 2012
Hey..hey...hey
So, in other news the job is going great! So happy to be with a company I can see myself moving up with. Downfall to the last three weeks has been being stuck in a training room with six other people. This one guy says AX instead of ASK when he's talking to people and he types loud...banging my head against the desk may get me committed so I keep my ear buds in, lol! The area is great; my cousin and his wife lives here and they invited me to her birthday cookout last Saturday. Their friends are hilarious and I can see myself hanging out with them on a regular basis. Bad note, I have yet to find a hair salon...about to get on the hunt for that asap!
I've also signed up for a home buying program in my area! I'm so excited because I'm am too through with apartments! I'm hoping to be in a home by the end of my lease, so y'all keep me in your thoughts and send me some good home-buyer vibes. My first workshop is next month...4 HOURS LONG...how in the hell am I supposed to survive that? Well, like they say...anything worth having is worth working for. So, I hope to add home owner to my hat rack soon. I'm excited, my daughter and I deserve to be in a space we can call our own, with a big yard, and a community she can grow up in. The terms of the program are pretty rigorous, but like I said, I WANT THIS so I'm going to do whatever it takes!
I also received a Lieber award from Ebb's and I will post that tonight...if I can get my Internet to work. Dammit Time Warner Cable :(
Anywho, I look forward to blogging more often and crossing more things off my list. I have something coming up for next month so stay tuned!
Smooches!!!
Monday, July 23, 2012
Crossing things off my list
Hey blog land! Whew…lot’s of things going on with yours truly! New job, moving, new beginnings, changes, personal growth, etc…etc…
First thing’s first…30 in 30 bucket list!! I get to cross two things off my list and I’m so happy! All smiles right now.
13. Make a career change – not really a career change in itself, but a good move for my career. More opportunities for growth and development, more things to learn, and soon I’ll be climbing that ladder! I was okay with my previous job, but I was just OKAY…not ecstatic, not overjoyed, but I was somewhat comfortable. Making this change is big for me, stepping outside of my box, putting myself out there, and it paid off!
30. Move to a new city (fingers crossed on that one) – I did this one and I’m so happy! I’m totally in love with my new city! Frankly, Columbia was boring me to death! Now I’m in the Queen City (don’t be stalking Miss. Tootie now kiddies, lol). I’m hoping that this city will be good for Mia and myself – more things to do will mean more fun for us.
So, that’s a wrap for the 30 in 30 bucket list…for now.
Recently, I’ve been tapping into my diva side by wanting to shop more and actually take the time to put my outfits together. The one thing about being overweight is that it’s hard to find clothes to fit me. This being fat thing is really hindering my Diva status, seriously people…this is like a wet blanket on my fabulous parade. Sooooo…back to they gym I go. I was super excited, then I’m starting to experience NC humidity…oh lawd, I need to make an appointment with my pulmonologist cause I’m going to pass out and die from oxygen deprivation! Shit!!!! I was in true fat girl mode while walking from the gym, I was breathing like I had a Ho Ho stored in my left cheek. Having Asthma in the south is no good :(
Anywho, have a good night!
Smooches!!!!!
Sunday, July 8, 2012
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
Ask me why I’m smiling…
Because…I got a new job today (pending a background check…sheesh, I hope they don’t pull that little drug charge up – just kidding). I’m super excited for the things that are coming my way. It’s in a new city (well, not so new to me) and a new company – I’m just on cloud nine right now!
Smooches!!!!
Thursday, June 28, 2012
I have a bang!!!
Monday, June 25, 2012
What I’m working on…
Last night, I made some pecan bars for my co-workers (baking is my therapy). They came out sooooo good!!! I was tempted to eat more than one, but I held off because my little butt has been faithful in the gym. Then, one of my co-workers told me I need to go into business….hmmmmmm….that was seriously on my mind for a little while as a side hustle. Somehow, life got into the way and it fell off. So, I’m starting to take this thing a little more seriously. Time to dig out my Photoshop! Please be on the look out for….
This is the logo idea that I have so far. I have a friend who is a graphics design major and she can help me with the rest!
I’m so excited – I can’t wait to birth this dream into a reality!!!
Smooches!!!
Saturday, June 23, 2012
What if's...
-I am the sweetest person you will ever meet; I go above and beyond for my loved ones.
-I'm pretty damn funny, I can crack a good joke.
-I'm artistic and creative, once I get those juices flowing.
-I'm driven to be a successful woman. One day I will wear a hat that VP of something...why stop at VP?
-I have beautiful brown eyes.
-I'm a pretty good kisser if I do say so myself lol!
-I am an awesome mother, I would die for my daughter.
-I want the best things out if life. Not necessarily material things, just the best experience possible.
-and finally, I am me-learning to love a happier and healthier Mitzi.
Smiling a little bit more today than yesterday...
Smooches
Thursday, June 21, 2012
And her name is ME…
Speaking of future, I had to make a very hard decision about mine. I have decided to focus on my relationship with myself for a while – I just need to take care of me. When I fall in love, I love HARD; I give my all to the people I love but I’ve neglected myself. So, I’m taking time out to send some love to the number one lady in my life…ME. With things being up in the air, of course I was a little anxious about how it will turn out; but I’m super positive about the decision I made and very excited about re-discovering my love for me. Every woman gives her all to everyone and everything, but just taking the time to truly yourself is the best thing in the world.
So, what am I going to do? I don’t know, I’m just going to go with the flow. Take her lead and take my time. I know what is first – that fabulous hair cut I’m going to get!!! No more braids for this girl!!!!!
Smooches!!!!!!
Sunday, June 17, 2012
Hey Life…
At this moment I can most honestly say that I am just along for the ride. On this road that my life has chosen for me, I am merely and passenger. No control, what so ever. Clearly, I am being taught serious lesson in releasing my grip and just being patient. I was hoping to be writing a post on completing another task off my bucket list, but that has been put on hold.
With these last few weeks, I have placed many wants and desires into the universe – just hoping to see what comes back down to surprise me. Hopefully, it will be all good; but most of all I hope it just BE. I have a busy week ahead of me; lots of appointments, work, fun, and decisions. While I take some time to ponder where this road is headed, I will leave you with this…
Dear Life,
Whatever it is you’re trying to teach me…I am here to learn.
Sincerely,
Mitzi
Saturday, June 9, 2012
Adjustments
That's my sexy and I know it picture lol!
Other changes that have happened are on the home-front. Brian found a job in a city about an hour away, so he moved to make way for Mia and I. I'm so happy for him, it's been a hell of a year, but the changes are a little strange. I'm so used to having him there and it's a weird feeling to come home and he's not home. I will get used to it, but hopefully by the time that I do we will be reunited. So now I've come to grips with the idea of the job search and leaving colonial. I've been there a long time and that's a change in itself. A change I will welcome. Hopefully the moves I make this summer will be the caveat I need to cross some things off my list and approach this new decade like a real diva would.
I've started a new blog for my fitness goals, www.etsr.blogspot.com
Please check it out when you get a chance.
So with so many changes, how am I going to handle everything? With style and grace - a classy woman till the end.
Smooches
Tuesday, June 5, 2012
Tag baby!!!!
Ebb’s at Fitness and everything else had this on her blog and I jumped right on in!!!
1. If you had 10 minutes to be on a popular television show, which show would it be? I would choose True Blood! I just want to touch Eric and be in Lafayette’s presence. OMG, I love that show!! June 10th for my True Blood fans!
2. If you could have one superpower what would it be? It I’m totally going with Ebb's with this one – I would be able to read peoples minds, I’m nosey too, lol!
3. What TV show are you embarrassed about watching? Basketball wives for sure, I hate it and love it at the same damn time!
4. What is your favorite book? I have so many, my most recent favorite would be Perfect Peace. If you haven’t read it, please get you a copy!
5. What is the worst flavor of ice cream? Rum raisin….ewwww..
6. What is your favorite condiment? Mayo…for shame…
7. What is the ideal comfort food? Red velvet cake
8. What is the most important meal of the day? Dinner, it’s how I wind down my day, yum!
9. What is your dream job? To be an evil hospital bureaucrat! Don’t judge me!
10. What subject do you wish you had paid more attention to in school? Science
11. What musical instrument do you wish you could play? The violin, such an elegant instrument
Sunday, May 27, 2012
Goal number 23 – Mission Complete!!!
Paint a piece of artwork for my new home (see goal #3)
This weekend was my birthday weekend and the girls and I are trying to implement a monthly girls weekend or girls night out. So guess what, May was my month and I chose to do a Grapes and Gallery night where we paint and drink wine. Totally had my bucket list in mind when planning this outing!
This was SOOOO much fun! first we went to eat at Myabi’s – Spider roll and Dragon Roll on deck. This was AMAZING!!! The spider roll was a soft shell crab and the dragon roll was a crab and tuna roll. So good!!
Here are some pics from the event! Our painting for the night was poppies – so easy to do, and painting is so relaxing….almost puts you in a trance.
My friend’s Dana and Allison
My tools, the wine was VERY necessary
We are ready (Sheena and Allison)
That’s my girl Robyn AKA Beedjka!!!
Dana giving me some birthday love – Love these girls!!!
Allison and I being silly!
My painting – just started with the grass and clouds
Adding some more details!
The finished painting, I was so proud!!!!
All-in-all, we had an awesome time! We laughed, joked, drank, and painted until we could paint anymore. And the cool thing about the class is that even though we did the same painting, everyone’s painting was different!
Smooches from the MNC + 1 – She was adopted into our circle, lol!
Happy Memorial Day and please don’t forget to thank those who have served and who are serving our country!!!
Friday, May 25, 2012
Thursday, May 24, 2012
This time…
This is an intimate post for me because I’m about to share a journal entry with you all…journals are usually private but today I feel like I should share this one. It’s long, so please bare with me…
Sitting here at the lake the eve before my 30th birthday and my heart and mind are so full. Full with ideas, concerns, fears, and realities. So many things have taken place in my 20s, I would have to write this whole entire book. Some good, some great, some bad, some worse. One thing I learned from my 20s, and still learning to grasp today, is that I can't stop things from happening, I can only change how I let it affect me. I've been hurt (in my opinion beyond measure) I’ve been let down, I’ve been put off, I've been uplifted, I've been given a second chance, I've been through a lot. But not once I stop moving, keep going until you can’t go anymore. Go you're dead-work at me until I quit breathing-take care Mitzi until her heart stops beating. Loving me was a challenge and it still is most days. I love everyone else but Mitzi. I don't know when it came to be like this; maybe it's my body image issues, maybe it's because I never learned to love myself, who knows. Somehow I let the most important person in my life go and how do I convince her to come back-how do I show her that this time I want it all. To love her and to show her how much she means to me. So often I left her devastated-no wonder she's lost. Learning to love all over again is a risk to take, but I will take it for her.
So looking back, my mistakes became my blessing in my goals that I've put on hold have followed me to this place. So much on my mind and so many things undone, I panic now because there's a possibility that I won't make it home alive and there's a possibility I won’t see my birthday tomorrow. All things are possible in this world, so could it be possible that I could look back at my 30s and smile because those were the best years of my life? Possibly... Could I look back at my 30s and say that I’ve earned the love of my life back and I love her fiercely? Possibly... This road I leave behind, but ahead lies the mystery-such is life. I hate mysteries I hate chance-I hate playing the odds so possibly is all I have right now. Sometimes I feel like if I put all of my desires out into the universe there is the better chance they may come back to me-that was “in my 20s Mitzi”. I could never let things evolve without my immediate help or input-that was also “in my 20s Mitzi”. So much wasted energy, how did “in my 20s Mitzi” make it through the last decade?'
There is one thing I won't do this decade and the ones hopefully the follow-I will not waste my energy and time on trying to control the uncontrollable or trying to figure people out. No more will I worry about who loves and accepts me-wasted energy. It seems like I’m taking the whole FUCK YOU approach, but I feel I spent too much of my time wasting my energy on the wrong shit. If there is an alternate world where I'm turning 20 tomorrow instead of 30, I would tell me to just breathe and that is easier to carry on when you don't have so much baggage to carry. Smile and love, but love yourself first. Accepted your decisions and stand by them, don't back down for anyone. And most of all... Enjoy your 20s because they go by fast.
So that's it in a nutshell my last day in my 20s.
Saturday, May 19, 2012
Friday, March 23, 2012
30 things to do while I’m 30 – official list
So without further ado, here’s my list!!!
- Confront my fear of heights by doing the Sky Walk in Stone Mountain GA
- Do a semi nude/boudoir photo shoot and hang the pictures in my new bedroom
- Become a home owner
- Buy myself something fromTiffany’s (real Tiffany’s, not swap meet Tiffany’s)
- Visit a winery
- Swim naked in the ocean
- Ride a rollercoaster
- Spend an entire weekend pampering and bonding with my daughter
- Stay up all night and watch the sun come up on the beach
- Finish my degree
- Take a cross fit class and finish without dying :)
- Take a pole dancing class
- Make a career change
- Take a cooking class
- Decorate my first cake
- Visit farmers markets in Atlanta and Charlotte
- Get a dog
- Go fishing
- Learn to play golf
- Hold a snake
- Take a picture in front of a famous person’s house
- Play in the rain
- Paint a piece of artwork for my new home (see goal #3)
- Purchase all new bras and panties for VS (can’t fit them now)
- Make a sex tape (don’t judge me)
- Ride a horse
- Crash the wedding and reception of a total stranger
- Be a vegan for a whole week
- Have a makeover
- Move to a new city (fingers crossed on that one)
Smooches
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Changing my Focus
Hey lovely blog readers! I’ve missed blogging, life has been super busy for me! Nothing like being on go all the time with no break…no..break..at..all..LOL!
I’ve been looking back and reflecting on things, I’ve read my ENTIRE blog – breaking down goals and trying to make an assessment of why I fail OFTEN. I have the ideas and the hope, but I usually fall short. As many of you may know (or may not know) I will be turning 30 in May and I’m starting to feel the pressures of life and honestly I feel like I’m starting to crack.
So, I’ve come up with the idea to kind of change the direction of my blog and try something different for me. A year long challenge to myself to see if I can have that stick-to-it attitude and accomplish….my….
30 things to do while I’m 30 bucket list!!!!
I know, I know – this is not the all coveted bucket list (things to do before I kick the bucket) because I have lots of things I would like to do before I kick the bucket!
Stay tuned for the list!!!!
Smooches!!!!
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Well hello there…
Warning…this post is VERY picture heavy.
I apologize in advance :)
So, let’s start off with our trip to Myrtle Beach with my college friends. We had an awesome time! All of us have children, so it was a nice getaway from the day to day.
Our view…nice and relaxing
What Brian did all day, try to find a golf course
I think he found one, smh
Walking on the beach
It was breezy but nice
Being silly
Hi seagull – sadly, we use to kill these when we were younger
Moving on to my recent shopping addiction – I am shopping it up for some reason. Maybe filling a void in my life, LOL! Just kidding!!
All these for $30 at the Nike outlet
Two shirts from the Gap Outlet
A dress, also from the Gap Outlet
Grey and pink…nice
Some new hair products, Argan oil - nice
Product junckie
New nail polish on sale
This was delicious
Found this at World Market
Okay, so the home girls and I went to Atlanta to surprise one of my best friends Sheena for her dirty 30!!!! We had a great time!!!
The birthday girl is in the stripped shirt!!!
Sheena is a cake decorator and she hates cake, so we got a cookie cake! YUM!!!
us girls
Keta packed a lunch bag, lol!
Our beats, we were jamming on the one, lmao!!!
Being silly!
This is what she does, make us drive her car and fall asleep on the back seat – SMH!
Me and my brother – he lives in ATL and came out to buy us drinks!
Allison sleeping HARD at the restaurant, lol!
That’s all for now! Just wanted to catch you up on my happenings!
Smooches!!!